This week I have spent a great deal of time bonding with my daughter. She is in this magical age the precedes becoming a ‘tween’. Magical in the sense that she is old enough to manage most basic responsibilities without my assistance, yet she still considers me to be a rational and somewhat admirable person. I dwell on this while we converse during our third walk of the day. All that I have learned in this life serves as a mental quagmire of passing urgencies; obstacles towards being present. Knowledge and memory are in some ways the antithesis of presence in that they serve as reminders, warnings, and opportunities that cannot be rendered silent so easily as the smashing of a large, ergonomic ‘snooze’ button. As the mysterious hand wrote on the wall at Belshazzar’s feast in the book of Daniel 5:26, ‘my (these) days are numbered’. I suppose everyone’s days are numbered, but in regards to days where she still extolls my virtues at some level, the end is quite near.
All that I have learned in this life serves as a mental quagmire of passing urgencies; obstacles towards being present
My daughter mentions the painter Bob Ross and even cites one of his sayings “there are no mistakes, just happy accidents”. As is often the case when I’m walking (or even waking), I ponder the days, weeks, and years that lie ahead of me and question how they are or are not contributing to the legacy I will leave behind. As soon as she finished citing Mr Ross I state that I would die exceptionally fulfilled if I were to leave a legacy half as impactful as his. She looked at me with a confused expression and asked what Mr Ross’s legacy was and why I would ever want it. After that, she paused for a few moments and asked me if that meant he was dead. “Yes, he’s gone, but look at what that man did.” I said. I explained that he taught people that anyone who was willing to make the effort could leverage the benefits of art as a creative outlet. There’s even a great documentary where someone tries to buy a Bob Ross and it’s an excellent example of what happens when you have a creative mind but no clear leadership.
“Yes, he’s gone, but look at what that man did.” I said. I explained that he taught people that anyone who was willing to make the effort could leverage the benefits of art as a creative outlet.
As we round the park for the third time she informs me that she’s ready to go back to the car. I go into one of my typical ‘take action’ lectures and decide I should practice what I preach. I offer her a simple wager. She must write a full page letter in german to a distance relative (she has been in German immersion classes for the last few years) and I must post an article. Both must be completed within the next week. We agree on rewards and consequences and make our way to the car. As I start the car she looks at me and asks if it’s too late to change her mind or at least ……maybe lessen the letter to 1 paragraph. “No” I say. “The wager has been made and to alter it now is to admit defeat and surrender to circumstance”. She Nods her head and takes a deep breath, “It’s ok daddy, I can do it”.
I smile and secretly wonder what future glories I may have robbed her from by coddling her and her post commitment request. I also wonder if I will have the discipline to bypass my plethora of post-work distractions and ‘put words on a page’ at some point in the next 7 days.
Thank you Mercedes. You are my legacy.
