My 72 Hour Water Fast: A Battle with my Monkey Mind

The Concept:

I recently embarked on a self inflicted journey of a 3 day water fast. I have completed several ‘fasting-like’ variations over the last few years for differing reasons. Once, when my girlfriend was distraught and at a proverbial fork in the road, I did a fast for clarity in hopes that it would lead to a sound decision. On another occasion, I did it because I had been injured and could no longer perform my high level of training. My goal on this occasion was a simple reboot and recovery for the body. Then there’s the longevity angle. I won’t go into the specifics on this post, but there are many reputable resources that show evidence of the long term health benefits of fasting, especially in regards to chronic disease. Just G-search for the term ‘autophagy’ which literally means cellular “self-eating” , a recycling and cleanup process that rids your body of damaged and misfolded proteins.

The Experiment:

Stated simply, I wanted to go 72 hours with nothing but water and the occasional coffee. I chose this format because it was simple, effective and would pit me against my ADHD appetite for ‘making’ any caloric substance that comes to mind whenever I get bored………I get bored a lot. In essence, this was a fast to develop mindfulness with my ‘mindless’ habits, e.g. my habit of chewing Ice Cubes gum throughout the day. In past fasting efforts I would chew about 40 pieces of sugar free gum a day. During this time I would obsess with a James Beard Chef level of focus on how my 600 calories of food would be prepared and plated. During these meals I would display meticulous effort on developing a perfect char on my organic purple carrot as it cooked in my cast iron pan. Then, just before serving it, I would add fresh lemon and zest for a refreshing acidic ‘zing’ that would accompany the sweetness of the carrot. I swear that I never respected the use of lemons when cooking until I had to count every calorie on my plate.

I chose this format because it was simple, effective and would pit me against my ADHD appetite for ‘making’ any caloric substance that comes to mind whenever I get bored………I get bored a lot.

And in this Corner…

No, this time it would simply be water. I know myself and I knew this would be tough. There is a feature that some casino’s offer where you can voluntarily ban yourself from their premises. Should you choose to re-enter in the wee hours facial recognition technology will prevent you from buying chips there. This is a classic case where ‘present you’ wants to protect yourself from ‘future you’. There’s a classic scene in an old episode of Seinfeld where he states that he never gets enough sleep because he’s ‘night’ guy. “What’s going to happen when we only get 5 hours of sleep? Oh that’s morning guy’s problem not my problem…..I’m night guy. The only thing morning guy can do is over sleep enough to lose his job which prohibits night guy from being able to go out” — Seinfeld Season 5 Episode 2 — The Glasses

There’s a major opportunity for a battle inside of me. In this case it’s my ego vs my monkey mind. My ego has stated that I have a goal and I will not miss it. I have stated it and I will stick to it. I ……have…..spoken…. My monkey mind is stating ‘okay yes we have a goal but what else can we do to have fun without our ego being such a drag and ruining the present’. This type of situation is the classic Ulysses Pact. A Ulysses pact or Ulysses contract is a freely made decision that is designed and intended to bind oneself in the future. The term refers to the pact that Ulysses (Greek name Ὀδυσσεύς, Odysseus) made with his men as they approached the Sirens. Ulysses wanted to hear the Sirens’ song although he knew that doing so would render him incapable of rational thought. He put wax in his men’s ears so that they could not hear, and had them tie him to the mast so that he could not jump into the sea. He ordered them not to change course under any circumstances, and to keep their swords upon him and to attack him if he should break free of his bonds.

Upon hearing the Sirens’ song, Ulysses was driven temporarily insane and struggled with all of his might to break free so that he might join the Sirens, which would have meant his death.

My monkey mind is stating ‘okay yes we have a goal but what else can we do to have fun without our ego being such a drag and ruining the present’.

Siren = sandwich

One can only imagine what the sound of the sirens song must have been like. The melody combined with their magnificent beauty was surely a temptation any mortal man would struggle to stave off. But…… I would guess it feels a lot like seeing a Muffuletta sandwich after you haven’t eaten food for 70 hours. Let’s face it, there’s nothing healthy or nutritious about a muffaletta sandwich. I think it has about a month’s worth of a humans sodium requirement. But when you are too tired to stand for more than 30 minutes at a time, these are the types of things that taunt you. Elvis is famous for having his favorite sandwich flown in for him and the band with bottles of champagne. The sandwich, much like Elvis, was over the top. Take a Large loaf of bread ….cut it in half…… now put a JAR of peanut butter, Jelly and a pound of bacon inside. This is referred to as “A Fools Gold Loaf”. Given that this sandwich is about 8000 calories, proceed with caution.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fool%27s_Gold_Loaf

All gorging aside, it’s amazing at how on most any given day, I would snub my nose at these types of food offerings as examples of the ‘very dark side’ of the western diet. Yet, now….. Now I’m thinking, ok that’s gross, but I wonder what it would taste like right now? I mean, was that sandwich served hot or cold because jelly doesn’t handle heat well, but you could always add it in at the very end. And this is how my monkey mind tortures me. It says things like, “Yes you can put me in a cage, but I can make a hell of a lot of noise from inside them”.

And this is how my monkey mind tortures me. It says things like, “Yes you can put me in a cage, but I can make a hell of a lot of noise from inside them”.

My Mantra

This balance of peace, this balance of power, this juxtaposition of will is the mental equivalent of binge watching a day of soap operas. The result? Lots of things happen. Much stress is incurred. Nothing really happened. Why the Hell does it seem so difficult to take two steps forward without regressing? Am I a better person than I was yesterday? At least I’m slightly thinner ….or perhaps I just appear gaunt.

In this instance, I chose to focus on ‘why’ I felt discomfort. So my mantra became “The more difficult this is, the more I need it”. I held onto that. I carried it around like an orphans ragdoll. It was my morphine when the discomfort intruded.

So my mantra became “The more difficult this is, the more I need it”. I held onto that.

I rarely emerge from these types of challenging endeavors with a clear path forward or overdue epiphany. Clarity in my life has been more about planting seeds and tending soil than scratching lottery tickets. I believe that challenging oneself creates a better atmosphere for the sprouts of a more fulfilling life to grow. Weather changes and we must find ways to adapt our way of thinking. A cold wind blows and we must find shelter or risk wandering blindly in hopes of a more welcoming tomorrow. What will you do to ensure that you do not fall prey to atrophy? What will you do to ensure that when challenges arise you have faith and resilience to call upon?